Replying to a comment on:

modern death(Debuffeted) (Free verse) by Crakyamuni

The terror of dreaming about self inflicted lust, lashing at the back of my forward distractions, my errors HAcking and skratching on my frontal lobe reaction With I used you for sex today claim her, without a name Your distraction is heaven the shallow tremblings, only sustanence can make me relevant Such a stance is mediocre at birth so I She was born to feed me ill divine will this one will hurt, and she will be the one to forget It sings like a song that was born self aware, drinkings me to death, drinkings me to lifeless with every death we wish her good health

Dovina 8-Sep-05/12:34 PM
"sings" in the last line. "gray" unless you're British. A terrible poem, which doesn't mean it's not good. It's just terrible.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001