Replying to a comment on:
Transient world
(
Free verse
) by
daryash-koh
Time will pass, And life will pass, The turning of the earth will pass, The burning of the stars will pass, So in this transient world, alas, I will pass gas.
nentwined
10-May-02/9:18 AM
hmm. I actually like the rhythm building up, but only as taken seriosly; the last line, while ostensibly an amusing twist, doesn't really do it for me.
Maybe if you kept running with the humor and tied it into the poem more?
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