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First Love (Free verse) by Dovina

The brilliant sunrise Of this winter morning Turned to bright reality of day. I wasn’t winter-broken, I thought it would stay.

LilMsLadyPoet 4-Sep-05/7:41 PM
I thought that it would stay.> I think this is the rhythm I would have chosen, and I would have thought that it added more 'connotation' to the whole thing. In fact at first read, I slipped it in there, then reread, and realized that it was not there. May I add to the discussion about rhythm...to me it is ALL about the rhythm...if the rhythm is off it just doesn't feel right to me. A piece can be astoundingly deep and say mountains of worthwhile things, but if the rhtythm is off I will never be happy with it. Personally, I worry more about rhythm than even puncuation. (I know, it shows!!) Decent piece, though.




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