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The Moment of Over (Other) by Bethy

One night I was out with the girls on a stag. My cell phone rang, a familiar tune played. Could you bring home some milk and a loaf of bread too, Stay out, have fun, See you tomorrow, I love you. Thinking of him I took a cab home, I sneaked through the door, But he wasn't alone. Their bodies were tangled, like the thoughts in my head. They were screwing each other on the new sheets on my bed. My ears started ringing, my heart pounded, my chest heaved. I stood there watching, my head screaming "LEAVE!" Then I paused for a second and turned on the light. I couldn't believe it, His best friends wife. The smile on her face was now slapped to the floor. I spit on her, pushed her and called her a whore. I cursed her and mocked her, I called her a skank. As I watched her drive off, my heart broke, I sank. My words became cries, Then I heard my name, Beth, I'm sorry, forgive me, I'm to blame. Hanging there lifeless, I turned to face him, "Go with her, just go!" "You can't stay, there's no reason." He walked to his car, heavy with guilt. "Hey, I said, you forgot your milk."

ALChemy 29-Aug-05/1:38 AM
"on the new sheets on my bed."- try "under the sheets of my bed."

"my heart pounded, my chest heaved."- try "heart pounded, chest heaved."

"You can't stay, there's no reason."- "Don't stay, there's no reason."

"Hey, I said,
you forgot your milk."- try "Hey wait" I said,
"you forgot your milk."

That should fix up the rythm some.

No end rhyme in stanza 1?

Great little story. I hope you dumped the milk on his sorry ass, or at least threw it at him.




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