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With You at an Ancient Temple (Sonnet) by Sasha

Some places were not meant for love. A shrine graced with pure roofless marble by the glade, as the sun lent us a columnar shade, helped us like rival ivies intertwine. Tourists flashed in to feel and photograph the unchanging statues, trying to ignore the two kids curled like shadows on the floor unseen by those stone gods. Long since I laugh in memory of pallid jealousy they masked behind bold gossip of “What is it with kids today?” with mere stone to admire. You’re what’s with me today, my dear, as we before the altar of our hearth revisit that blessèd blasphemy of our desire.

zodiac 24-Aug-05/4:58 AM
Hey, you pulled off the slang! Great!

But... some archaicky and/or highfalutin talk:
"graced", "lent", "rival ivies", "unchanging", "pallid jealousy", "masked behind bold gossip", "blessed blasphemy" (minus extra for the unnecessary diacritic.)

It's not that I have a problem with highfalutin as such. Lord knows I highfalute as much as anyone. But it's just so... STYLIZED, you know? I mean, what does it mean for a thing to grace you with something? Or who thinks statues are really unchanging anymore? Nothing and nobody, except in the kinda-removed language of old poesie. I doubt even Pope ever felt really GRACED by something in his long damp life. It's just what you say something does when you need to make it do something in a poem. Or it's like trying to write folksy/bluegrass music (which I do a lot). At some point you're not originating, you're just writing what bluegrass is supposed to sound like - the forms. Not art but a museum piece, ya know? -10-




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