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Leaving the Woods House (Sonnet) by zodiac

We bushel-basketed the stereo, lamps, found everything under the couches damp from Lord-knows-what - mouse droppings in the cupboards. I cut the grass, she boxed rabbit-ears, stacked books in crates. We left the couches, fucked on the floor. And then one moment the house was ours, and then it wasn't ours. It's easy enough to leave a thing: you tell yourself the thing you love is gone: the girl bent over the sink is new, this house is new each now to the next. You let it go, the truck butts out into the dawning world, the boughs waving aren't even farewells, nor tenterhooks.

Dovina 23-Aug-05/7:47 AM
I hate the restrictions of the sonnet form. But I guess if you give up the stricter Shakespearean ties, then its much easier.

I think "we" would be better in "You let it go" to keep it personal.

You could drop "ours" in "and then it wasn't ours"

What are tenterhooks?

The colons distract. Periods would be better.

I would make the sex more tender in keeping with the nostalgia of the occasion.




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