Replying to a comment on:

How Angels Sleep (Free verse) by Dovina

They roll and turn with minds confused to understand their earthly charge Angels have no pain or joy from which to learn the art of comfort. They know so very little how a woman feels with wounded knee or poison word. About an earthly hand below her rib— once a pleasure, now a scar— about this feeling, only theories can they bring. And for the missing manly snuggles, they tout prescriptions learned, obeying Teacher’s word, then listen while she grumbles. All their efforts leave her sobbing beside him on the bed, bewildered, while their platitudes roll on. But once an angel felt it briefly— the way to reach his charge’s heart. He lay beside her sleeping soundly, and she knew he understood.

Dovina 18-Aug-05/10:10 AM
That works for me too.

I think all the stanzas have a submissive beat. The angel is submissive to the Teacher and to his task. The woman is submissive to being comforted by the angel, even as he fails. And the woman in the last verse, who is finally comforted, is submissive to the angel. Could you explain what you mean?

The full stop at the end of s2 is there for grammar’s sake. But I see how it breaks the flow, and may do well to disappear.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001