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What?! (Free verse) by drnick

The moons view is one of wonder Leaving limes for the undercover Drinking dreams we throw them up I can't feel for you I'm sick of love Lonely roads dont have those lights Its easier to see the stars and kites String 'em up and we cut it loose Why have the choice if we never choose

LilMsLadyPoet 3-Aug-05/12:20 AM
Whoa, drnick...why have the choice of we never choose, indeed!>I said INDEED! as in I agree! I understood, completely what you were saying in this piece, and agree that apathy is our worst (worse?!) disease! Then I proceeded to think aloud...that is all! (my brain went something like...'but then again, is it not also true that doing nothing is in fact something, as that nothing has an effect, sometimes...and silence, that says volumes, sometimes, and sometimes we create an ill effect with our silence... and we do Something most nasty to ourselves, if we stay silent when we want to scream...') Just my analytical mind strolling along! I did not rip this piece apart, and did not mean anything remotely close to that! I gave you a 7! (and I am not a generous voter!)I like alot about this poem, there are some great lines> the last line, obviously; and then
'Drinking dreams we throw them up' ( graphically and symbolically cool)
'I can't feel for you I'm sick of love', also cool; (could have been the obvious meaning, but also> to be sick OF love, because of love, because of wrong love, bad love, no love...I think all sickness of head and heart starts with "sick of love" (or from), so I liked this line, no matter your original intent of meaning) and this piece has a strange but kinda cool cadence. (although I like it, the 'love' line actually breaks the cadence, but that made me stop to think about the meaning that could have, like a forced pause would have.(One spelling error> dont> don't). NOW...I wouldn't call that 'tearing it apart'; and the first comment wasn't either! Now quit being a moody artiste' and get back to writing! *wink*...off to find the new one you post....




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