Replying to a comment on:
Flicking
(
Free verse
) by
INTRANSIT
My thoughts stumble as I watch them lean into the apex Thrust against chicanes Bank on that complex compound that soft encouraging lip all the while keeping eyes fixed on the leader point of blind curves exit and roll on.
Shuushin
29-Jun-05/1:50 PM
okay - I haveta make an ammendment.
The start "It amazes me..." might be improved apon. YES I KNOW, I've done and do from time to time a similar thing - but I try.
The thing is that you want the poem to convey the amazement - why broadcast it. What if you just killed the first 3 words??
Then remove "Still keeping" - it is... unenglish.
But I like the piece very much.
Track and Plan your submissions
;
Read some Comics
;
Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001