Joshua_Tree28 Jun 2005

Sorry, I wasn't clear at all. You did a great job of understanding the situation and an admirable job of expressing it. It's like a photograph - crisp and clear with the capabilities and limitations of that medium - and very good as an artistic photograph. End of discussion on this poem.

What I think you could do superbly in a different poem is paint a picture of a moment or an almalgamation of the scenes that led to your conclusions. For example, are there items, odors, bits of dialog that illustrate his wallowing in hurt? That, too, would make a superb poem.