Replying to a comment on:

We Have Never Spoken (Free verse) by fevriere

I watch their dry mouths moving, and their moping. They have grown attached to griping, and I hear their monotonous coping. They should be devastated with lead piping. They have grown old and tired, I will, in my cycle, go that way too but not before I change the end and we smile and it saves you. We are still young, I decide and we bound off the bus in the rain you, shaking up puddles with your stride and me, wet-lipped and young again.

Dovina 27-Jun-05/12:54 PM
I seems you're describing old age, not in years, but attitude. Then I come the lead piping and don't see how that relates. I like verse 2. Then in verse 3, the lesson seems forgotten. I think it's a glimps that might stick with the two youngun's




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001