Shuushin22 Jun 2005

The images/symbols are fairly clever, but they are delivered without style.

These are not pleasant to read.

Can they be fixed? Start with killing nearly all of your prepositions and look up "split infinitive" and, in general, stop telling me [blandly] what I would rather be shown [freshly].

Apply these words to any 5 random poems of yours here.

Please, don't take my comments the wrong way - just bridge this gap between having something good to say and saying it well.

Sadly, if one has the latter they can fake the former - but seldom the other way around.