Dovina20 Jun 2005

OK, I'll try again, but you're dealing with a hard-nosed realist. (Glad you liked Unclean.) The first sentence is so difficult that you might want to put it later in the poem. Try starting with the third and fourth sentences because they flow well and give clues to your theme. The idea of channeling, balanced with ghost is good. The plagiarism phrase is grating and confusing.