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The tender side. (Free verse) by darby pyn

When I channel you deliver me possession and let me be flattery for my plagiarism. I steal the sides to give texture to an empty well. your arms give a beautiful aesthetic to hollow spaces. in between the shadows of my thoughts where too many questions are gray without recollection you stay firm. my ornament of desire. you could never be a ghost in my home.

Dovina 20-Jun-05/12:42 PM
OK, I'll try again, but you're dealing with a hard-nosed realist. (Glad you liked Unclean.) The first sentence is so difficult that you might want to put it later in the poem. Try starting with the third and fourth sentences because they flow well and give clues to your theme. The idea of channeling, balanced with ghost is good. The plagiarism phrase is grating and confusing.




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