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Unclean (Free verse) by Dovina

It mattered not what Mohammed taught— the works, the prayers, the pillars. Her thoughts were not concerned with these as sisters dressed her wounds and tried as best they could to soothe her troubled mind. Neither threat of virus nor fetus’ curse frightened a hurt soul more than one all-important fear. Not humiliation or disgrace, pain, or memory of his face; and so she asked with trepidation: Will it show? Will my husband know? All the sisters understood, and would have feared the same had they been lying on that bed. So as night turned into morning she withheld her screams of pain, while women mended, bandaged wounds, and added other cuts and bruises to disguise as best they could injury as a robbers act, to spare their friend a greater pain— a husband’s eye, keen to learn if his wife’s become unclean, and if she is, to cast her out for Allah’s good.

Blue Magpie 14-Jun-05/11:42 PM
I think you have made a good attempt here, to describe something that is worthy of poetry. However it needs a little work. Have you actually read the Koran, Mohammod teaches great respect for women, the attitude of Islamic men depicted here, derives from the pre-mohammadan culture (I Recommend "The Arab Mind" by Raphael Patai), so some mention of the need for forgiveness and understanding that mohammad taught might have been better than than line 2 as it is.

Disease might be better than virus, because it is more encompassing.

fear.(,)
Not(neither) humiliation or disgrace,
pain, or (the)memory of his face;

There is nothing poetic in the modern trend to simple leave words out, I mean words that grammatically should be there, such as the definite and indefinite articles , in fact it makes a sentence look ugly.

injury as a robbers act,
the injury as a robber's act,

to cast her out for Allah’s good.
to be cast her out for Allah’s blessing.

Any Muslem would tell you no man can do something for the good of God, God is already as good as it is possible to be. They do things in God's name, or in order to satisfy God's commands





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