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untitled (Free verse) by lazuli42

Before in time eternal mysteries entwined I travel silently forever undoing never

LilMsLadyPoet 14-Jun-05/3:34 PM
I really like this! I do wondered if 'travel' should actually be 'traveled', because you say 'before'. I kind of like that you did not use punctuation, so that there are multiple nuances can be made in the reading of it. I think that that actually may add to this piece, although it wouldn't have hurt anything had you chose to use it, either. I actually gave it a fairly high score, (in my book) because it was clever, and made me stop and pause and reread several times.




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