Replying to a comment on:

-750,000 in Rwanda (Free verse) by ALChemy

See how the Tutsi sleep dead in heaps and still they lie there where they die. Too many for the census takers, calculators, estimators. Too many for the senses to take. Hear our silence serenade the merciless raid. The order's called. The triggers pulled. The flash, the bang, the flesh explodes. and in the air the smell still hangs of a rotting sweetness in churches and streets. wreaking our futures bleakness Touch the ground unsettled ground desecration abound There are more bodies than bullet shells stabbing children snapping thier necks. Save the bullets for mom and dad. Kids are easier to kill.

Dental Panic 12-Jun-05/11:14 AM
I think this is a very bad poem. It doesn’t hit hard, it hits the spot where the blow’s already been taken. And if it did not affect you, eleven years ago, this poem certainly will not change that. And how is it ‘emotionally involved’? It deals with the Rwanda genocide in a kind of moralistic tone of voice, the ‘we all are guilty’thing, and then, in the commentaries, it’s about sleep and dead and heap, blahblahblah, very abstract, technical, not personal at all – it should have known at least ONE name of a Tutsi family for it to become more then what it is now: simply a flat piece of socalled ‘involved’ poetry. So what’s your next piece about? Bosnia? Darfur? The famine in North Korea? The Cultural Revolution? Iraq, maybe? Kyoto?




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001