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A Kiss In Shadows (quite happy for me) (Free verse) by Caducus

Veins inked their faces, And I read their lives In a novel of wrinkles. He held her hand Walked her speed And he looked at her watching slabs roll to him she still looked twenty. She wore a scarlet cardigan And he wore pride. She must have been a catch back then Before her life Wore her inside out. I thought of their love, Smiled till I wrinkled And for a moment I was them Just younger, And holding on to hope As she held on to wood Clasping his hand which held her. I am full of love today and she is faraway. I feel close to her though. Golden from sunlight On a grey pavement, Where two ancient lovers Stopped to kiss in my shadow, And I closed my eyes So I could see us together Kissing years from now On shadows of the lost Where love is found.

Dovina 10-Jun-05/10:56 AM
This starts our really good.

I don't know what you mean by the slabs rolling, or why she still looked 20.

Verse 3 is great.

Verse 4 is good. "wood" must refer to her cane.

Verse 5 is a bit strange, and kissing on shadows of the lost - well, I see you relating to the old couple as you imaging aging with your lover, but it could be better said.




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