Replying to a comment on:

A Poem of Nonsense (Prose Poem) by woodstock20000

A poem of nonsense came to me, like parables beyond the sea. And in my mind they came to take, like mockingbirds within a lake. I looked, and once again I saw, a book, which cried like a macaw: "Read me! Read me!" It once said, although I swore this book was dead. And so I looked within myself, and found the book upon the shelf, and read aloud from this dead tree what was, but once, some poetry. And on from it the words a-flew, of mahogany, and pink, and blue - until they rested on my chest, and sang to me until their rest. Then suddenly the storm did stop - forever gone the blissful drop. Forlorn - a dark reality I fall... but was I dreaming after all?

DoubleU 2-Jun-05/4:02 PM
I would prefer: 'of pink, mahogany and blue'; lubricates the reading.

<< Forlorn - a dark reality I fall... >> is a line that truly jars. If you really want to keep it (I guess you do) at least try to add two beats to the first line in this stanza to restore balance




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001