Replying to a comment on:

In the aspens (Free verse) by sliver

. In a stand of aspens We print poetry Mocking mother nature With silent souls we shout weaknesses Previously unparalleled As honey and dew drips quietly from silent tongues Leaves of every color litter the ground Still, unaware of our surroundings We unwittingly spit on the history Of souls stained like ours Straining against powers We could never comprehend Still silent In this peaceful mountain land

DoubleU 27-May-05/6:37 AM
You can mock mother nature all you want, but you will never be able to filter out a certain sense of wonder. The poem would have been great (after changes according to Dovina's advices) if it had contained both feelings. It's in the last two lines perhaps, but not powerful enough.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001