Replying to a comment on:

Rock of the Earth (Free verse) by ingwa

Sing to my soul of ages gone by Paintings on walls, stories through lines Hunts gone by, inspired their hands Sing to me now, before I die Tell me the tales of things you know Let me know your experiences, good and bad The lessons you learned, mistakes you made Tell me the things that moved your heart Ageless you stand, tall and proud Lichen grows upon your surfaces The winds and rains slowly erode And still you stand, strong and bold Home to leopards, baboons and insects Bats take refuge in your dark crevices Explorers amazed, challenged always Can I make my abode within your safety

nentwined 24-May-05/4:38 PM
Taking the second stanza out helps more than I expected. Still, the whole thing needs a lot of chopping and/or polishing. I _STRONGLY_ recommend attempting to critique other poems more than investigating your own at the moment. Post, soak in the comments, but put effort into seeing what you like and/or dislike about other's poetry, seeing how you can apply that to your own work.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001