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Homecoming (Free verse) by Dovina

I lie beside him in the bed and feel his breathing slow his years and gray still bright mine fading as the night Until his morning hand reaches and I’m gone nothing will have changed his mind at rest my body too Just a short walk an errand really yes, an errand Out the door down the stairs Why was it I left the bed? If I think only this well now and worse with time how can any other walk be love? It’s kinder now before the worst with sense to act his courage strong Del Mar Street still too close a few more blocks then stand and wait Can’t quite remember why I came or exactly where I am only that it’s time Those headlights yes, it’s time two quick steps the lights of home

DoubleU 13-May-05/5:52 AM
Dovina; in stanza 9 the lady makes a choice. In stanza 10 she comes to action. The power of this poem (and my voting was rather impulsive) is that her choice can be two quick steps in the wrong direction, or it can also be a choice of hope: two quick steps up and into the bus home. This does not square with YOUR intentions, but you didn't write the poem exclusively for yourself and the people you based the poem on. Otherwise you wouldn't have published it... You wanted to tell the true story, unfortunately some interpretations where 'false', but it doesn't mean that the poem is a failure. It reads like a novel, it has the feel of a film noir. Nothing wrong with that.

Messing up autobio's because of muddled feelings intervening? That's an odd thing to say. Don't you realise that the last stanza may not only paint the picture as it is, but at the same time reflects your feelings, your wish that the person dear to you had made a different choice, or choices?




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