Replying to a comment on:

Intense Irrational Realities (Free verse) by Venus

I wonder... What does yours look like? Is it a caricature, inflated and bombastic, some carnie's imagination working overtime? Or is it merely a series of loosely connected lines and squiggles, as if drawn on an etch-a-sketch? Maybe it's a scenic dreamscape, majestic and romanticized, still, pithy, a Winslow cradled in antique gold? I wonder... Could it resemble mine?

god'swife 31-Aug-02/1:07 PM
Much improved. Get rid of 'Is it' in line 3 and line 7,'it's' in line 11. Last line should echo first, 'DOES it resemble mine' Great you've done a terrific job of editing. Now the subject of the poem has a larger scope, and really could be anything. 8




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001