Poemranker [Replying] Fri May 03 20:32:26 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Trying to get signed? (Free verse) by Damien

I do not understand this frame of mind I only feel the truth inside it I fly One day I am someone with the highest ambition The next I could be complete if I forget this competition Because if I choose to acknowledge this as a worth full fight I will do something new, as I know how to catch peopleâs sight I will think of the next big thing not what you bring You humans will be shocked at what evolution sings So I will write and contemplate whilst growing from within Be persistent with my dreams and "just go for it" All I need now is an honest opinion of this If I can write this simply do I have a gift? But stop if you are judging as you scum destroy Leave me be rip me up cant you see I will find joy Canât you see youâre the key that can begin this process? My expressions will progress, as my mind is not hopeless

Damien

20-Apr-05/7:19 AM

Oh yeah Zodiac, just checked out your recent comments. I belive you have no right to say anything to anyone, most of your comments were full of offensive irellivent (sorry for spelling)
remarks. I notice you enjoy putting people down (wow what an assumption) and love a good argument (another assumption? I'me getting good). heres a few extracts, also I think people should check your voting history, you have an average of 6.25 or something. Utterly discusting.

Congratulations, this is the man you just called a brainiac: http://rockmage.com/biograp...

Get bored and leave soon.

Re: 15 Minute poem by Damien* 18-Apr-05/10:37 PM
Just think how much better this poem would have been if you'd spent 30 minutes on it instead of 15. What were you so busy doing that you couldn't spend another fifteen minutes and made it twice as good? I'll bet you were whacking off to either the blonde daughter or the gothish daughter, or both, on Rosanne.

Re: Snap by rockmage 17-Apr-05/6:07 AM
"rotates a swirl", what? Do you really mean something like "swirls a swirl" or "spins a spin"? Seems like a waste of precious haikullables to me.

Re: Why The Spinning Top Appears Too Beautiful To Touch by PsydewaysTears 17-Apr-05/6:05 AM
Drop the line at the end if you want this to even start being considered as a real poem.

Also, write about a real situation. I know you think you are, but you're not. Make your hero/narrator/whatever walking somewhere, doing something, having a realistic conversation - something to tie things together and be more than just whatever goth cliches popped into your head as you were writing. So you've got a dinner party in there somewhere; use that. Start with a person cleaning stains out of the carpet. Really. Start with the line, "She/he scrubbed stains in the carpet" and go from there. Drop 90% of the lines in this poem that aren't about getting ready for dinner parties. I'm absolutely serious. Even Eliot made his rambling egos WALKING somewhere.

Re: Reincarnation by Dovina 17-Apr-05/6:00 AM
Not to be irrelevant, but I've always wondered what's the point of reincarnating if you don't remember your past lives. Do you think some people do? If not, how do you think a past self affects somebody's present self? If it doesn't (or doesn't much), isn't it pretty much the same thing as not being reincarnated?

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