Replying to a comment on:

Trying to get signed? (Free verse) by Damien

I do not understand this frame of mind I only feel the truth inside it I fly One day I am someone with the highest ambition The next I could be complete if I forget this competition Because if I choose to acknowledge this as a worth full fight I will do something new, as I know how to catch people’s sight I will think of the next big thing not what you bring You humans will be shocked at what evolution sings So I will write and contemplate whilst growing from within Be persistent with my dreams and "just go for it" All I need now is an honest opinion of this If I can write this simply do I have a gift? But stop if you are judging as you scum destroy Leave me be rip me up cant you see I will find joy Can’t you see you’re the key that can begin this process? My expressions will progress, as my mind is not hopeless

thepinkbunnyofdoom 15-Apr-05/9:19 AM
I didn't like this. Maybe it's some of the grammer issues, or maybe it's just the underlying tone. I'm sure you've heard of something known as slam poetry, right? I think that's where you should have focused the energy that went into this. I do like the fighting spirit this displays however. Hold onto that, this place gets to be battleground over some of the dumbest reasons. I was most put off by the "stop if you are judging as you scum destroy". This is a ranking site. You will be judged. I can't honestly vote this higher than a 4. Because if a poem is a machine, then it's what it does for us that we are rating. This moved me little. The comments were actually more interesting.

<3 Jason




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001