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Potential (Free verse) by Christof

Drawn back into the day I am slackened and rested Like an unfired arrow. I let myself fly into the night Pitched out into dreams and restlessness But waking found nothing But an ache of inertia. Fists rest in pockets like wars unwon Eyes close on sights unseen And all I've spent is unearned.

Christof 13-Apr-05/3:41 AM
Well, you can never please everybody. But I think slackened is right -the arrow is not being drawn back to be fired, but is being allowed to rest, so that would mean a slackening of the bowstring. It makes the initial 'drawn back' rather paradoxical, suggesting the movement although it doesn't happen in the end. You're right about 'loosed' though - 'pitched' was better, like Hopkins' 'pitched beyond pitch of grief' (pang of grief? Can't remember). Anyhow, this will be the final revision. I can't stand it anymore. Pah!




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