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Cold Feet (Free verse) by gregsamsa222

I was headed to her apartment you know when it just I just felt like it was all futile, dating her She's sweet and all does the right things, studies and smiles wears ironed pants and simple sweaters and her books are always stacked on her desk like a wedding cake you know large notebook then a smaller notebook then a smaller textbook then the smallest textbook A four-tiered monument to safety rising up on her desk There's nothing wrong with that It's safe you know I shouldn't have taken astronomy this semester Some people shouldn't take classes that show you how small you are or how small everyone else is in the universe I should stick to business classes where men are gods and life's purpose is clearly defined you know?

richa 3-Apr-05/3:48 PM
It is not richly poetic and there are not many lines that turn me on, but it does skip along rather nicely. I do like the bit about astronomy and the repetition (not as the final line though). The narrators asides like 'there's nothing wrong with that' are cool. Not sure about the end though. To say that business makes men gods and purpose well-defined underestimates the subtleties of mans place in the world. In a word it is a little bit trite.




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