James Rykelangeli19 Mar 2005

psychologically very bland: we can discern nothing because we know nothing about the speaker's relation to the admired. as it is, the poem comes across as a melodrama: speaker in a tepid relationship, has newfound passion finds hard to express, takes lover to beach to soften up him or her, ocean symbolizes something like the freedom of expression the speaker desires, and this freedom entails a degree of amnesia to forget any troubles from the relationship's past that might hinder the present communication of passion. i realize this is a gross deconstruction of sentiments that are often very tender and profound, but the blandness of your poem warrants such a criticism. consider rewriting the following trite imagery:
"the waves come in across the bay
and break, and break, and break."
"sun baking"
"waves breaking"
"Now it's all I have left to give"
"we'll make
it here when we get out of here."
i found "mizzling rain" awkward. it is, after all, akin to "drizzling rain," when just "drizzle" would suffice. here, however, "mizzle" is too unwieldily to have alone. so, i'd rewrite that as you see fit.
the poem does have two instances of superb word choice:
"lullabye crush" and "amnesiac sea."
new imagery and psychological depth would make this a strong poem.