zodiac28 Feb 2005

Some real advice for once:

- Don't invert word order for a rhyme.
- Don't cripple grammar for a rhyme.
- Don't rhyme fear/tear, choose/lose, stand/hand, or taken/forsaken. An easy rule is: if any song I've ever heard does it, don't.
- The way you continue sentences through lines like the ones ending in 'shun' and 'back' is really good. The rest of the lines seem poorly connected and mostly for rhyme's sake.
- Punctuate.
- Don't write poems about friends dissing and you don't know why.