Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 16:58:52 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

(Imagine a single line of text in a circle that you have to turn as you read - the word âHungerâ at the center. You canât determine where to start, so start reading anywhere.) I am hungry You present me a plate of food Sensations arise I see food, smell it, anticipate eating it Volition comes into use I pick up utensils I indulge in the pleasure of eating As my stomach fills, desire decreases My mind turns to other desires New sensations Mental formulations arise

zodiac

27-Feb-05/9:58 PM

World hunger is cogent, and an argument against what this poem is saying. I know I said why above, but this is how committed I am to your improvement:

1. "You present me a plate of food" is not an adequate answer to the statement "I am hungry". The problem's not that simple, and anyways, most starving people are not presented plates of food. "I am hungry / You present me a plate of food" comes out facile and classist beyond belief. Just say, When *I*, Dovina, am hungry, someone presents me with a plate of food. But why would you want to?

2. The "New sensations / Mental formulations" clearly means you're going toward Maslow with this. "I am hungry" in successive repetitions comes to represent, in this order, hunger for safety/shelter, hunger for love/esteem, hunger for knowledge, hunger for beauty, hunger for self-actualization, and hunger for God. You probably didn't have it this clear in your mind when you wrote the poem - that's irrelevant. Anyway, I doubt very much that a starving person gives much of a fuck that his hunger is just going to become a hunger for mental formulations while he's starving. Even Maslow made sure of saying that, and Maslow's completely bum. By repeating the poem with the same words you're basically making all those other hungers equivalent to physical hunger. Do you understand why doing that is bow'ls? Because that's what you're doing.

I'm sorry I use so many vulgarities in my comments to you. The problem is that I think about you and your comments all night, and by the time I make it to the internet cafe I'm just frothing at your persistent headbutting into the jellyish paunch of stupidity. I can honestly say you're the most willfully ignorant person I've ever met, and I've met a lot of ignorant people. If you've got a problem with me, with my comment style, or whatever, fine. Personally, I have a problem with you. But that shouldn't stop you from at least comprehending one - just one! any one! - of my points. That you haven't yet is another stain on your muchsmeared buskins of repute.

zodiac

PS-Ace distinction on "sensibility and logic". I bet you a nickel you can't explain it!

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