James Rykelangeli27 Feb 2005

nothing to object to concerning the technique: the words read smoothly, and the dropping flower cleverly solidifies the structure. its excessive sentimentality, however, weakens its potential cuteness and whimsicality. as for reducing the sentimentality, i'd excise the superfluous sunrise and rewrite "Her gift floats through time/ and past memories," as it's currently trite but has considerable poetic potential. still, i'm only dwelling on the poem's few shortcomings. overall, impressive and expressive. well done.