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Broken (Free verse) by singinkygal

Broken Weak All words spoken NO more to speak Of what is wrong Or what is right My heart’s heavy song And love’s cold bite Misery’s cruel smell of victory And happiness thrashing about drowning in defeat My heart is broken before me as I weep at your feet.

fevriere 3-Feb-05/9:31 AM
Oddly I like this, to begin with, but if there are no words to speak, how can you even squeeze a rhyme out of a poem? Have you considered cutting it off after "or what is right"? The "heart's heavy song" coul be the title - 'tis a redeemable line but the best poetry is the best words (e.g. for a poem on this theme, few?) in the right order (to give a sense of dullness, emptiness.




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