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James The Dashing Pirate (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Yeah they call him the one night casanova. He gets the girl and has her falling over. Heads become heels, and his heels become gold. He's comic and witty, with baby blues and great hair. Daringly devoted, to making a smile cross your lips. He is simple and unique, relentlessly cunning. He is an epic packed into a coloring book. Rated R for language and explicit content. An arrogant aside, beautifully stunning. With a razor tongue, and a smooth voice. Champagne for the price of beer, yeah thats you. My breathing shadow, your living reflection. My depth, your perceptions. Your as large as life, written to be. Not so much short as say, not long. A simple melody, catchy and quick. Confident and Great. James The Dashing Pirate.

fevriere 2-Feb-05/8:37 AM
The first two lines were a hook for rhyme-loving girls like self. What are golden heels about? I do like it, even the gentle shortening of the line lengths is very effective but I can't help thinking if you played around with it more, it might flow - moments like reflection/perception don't seem to be exceptions but more highlights.

What do you think; do you want it to rhyme?
No vote yet because I don't believe it's finished.




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