I welcome you my son, To this wonderful place That we call earth. Now you are a proud member my son, Of this supreme human race By virtue of your birth. As you grow up my son, Soon shall you realize, This is indeed a strange world to be in. Let me then, teach you a few things, my son, So, open your tender eyes Before they lock me up for this sin. Hey cheer up, my son, You don’t need to appear so tense This really is a wonderful place. All you need to do, my son, Is master the art of pretense Learn to wear a thousand face. It doesn’t take much, my son, Just learn to wear a plastic smile, And if you are angry or worn out, never frown. At times, it might seem hard, my son, But never let go of this wile, ‘Cos showing your feelings would make you look a clown. The secret of success, my son, Is in the vertical movement of the head, called a ‘nod’ And in agreeing in the affirmatives of others, silently. Initially, it might seem unjust, my son, But address your complaints not to the system, but to God And soon, you’d even learn to pray mechanically. Whenever you see evils around you, my son, Do not give yourself too much air And dare to stand out If you value your life, my son, Do as I say, give a damn care And blend along the staring crowd. Learn to listen carefully, my son, But also to put it out of the other ear casually Especially, the promises of a politician. And if you want something good to be done, my son, I hereby prescribe you the worst remedy, Go and meet a social worker or a humanitarian. Someday soon, you’d be married, my son, And you’d have kids of your own And one day (though I pray not) from this world, you’d go But before meeting this inevitable fate, my son, Pass onto them this little piece of information, To live happily, never let your feelings show. But now don’t bother yourself too much, my son, Enjoy the innocence of these early years Laugh and smile, play as much as you can. For soon, you’d see my son, That you are stooped by burdens, drowned by fears For soon, you’d grow up to be a real man.