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Disturbed Destiny (Free verse) by misheila

Feelings come over me at night. Lost dreams and desires, I awake. Translation lost in time. To late to recapture.

nentwined 15-Jan-05/1:45 AM
I'm afraid you've completely lost me with this one, to the point that just about the only bit of criticism I can make byond that is I'm fairly sure the first "to" on your last line is intended to be a "too".

Line by line--l1 is a bit simplistic for the number of words you use, but could go somewhere. l2 as well. l3 is nice and succinct... I almost think you could drop the first two lines and work the rest into something more coherent, but I'm lost as to what you intend with 'translation', and ... no idea what you're hoping to convey.




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