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Mallard (Free verse) by richa

touching its plumped tail with a paddle was an undeliberate thrill. to navigate this pond in a wooden box of a boat, can try. the lob of a crust to break the water, an ear of bread trimmed from a sandwich, an offer that upturns a beak's chimera.

Dovina 21-Dec-04/10:32 AM
The first sentence is good, except what have you against capitals?
Chimera seems too grandiose for a duck's beak.
"can try" meaning to try patience or ability, I suppose, seems clumsy.
"ear of bread" may be a Briticism. If so, okay.




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