Replying to a comment on:

The wreck of a Memphis-Atlanta Greyhound (Free verse) by zodiac

[For Dovina, as always.] One casualty - fortunate, as these things go. (The oncoming driver, drunk or overtired, thinking about his wife, a song or nothing, escaped unhurt.) Inevitable, they said. Common enough, at any rate. Bound to happen once to any of us, given world and time enough. And always more-or-less the same. Except the flying man. He'd been in that rear lavatory. Freshening up, I imagine. At least, he seemed the freshening-up sort. Probably used the phrase "God-fearing" once in his life, uncynically. Or "Old fart" (also self-reference.) There's a kind who use bus lavatories, who call them lavatories - the humble, endless opiners, insufficiently loved for what they are: white streaks of light waiting. Grandfather-puffy. Or else a professor, a doctor, maybe. Surely, there was some ideology involved. Some extra lift, shot him - what, four times himself down the aisle, a thrilling upward half a parabola. The downward too, then. But, before that, the windshield; so as much of him continued up as fell (if you believe ballistics end in that instant: the soul transforms into an up-falling rain of pebbled glass.) I can tell you, the physics of the thing are suspect. For in the time he took to clear the dash, I saw him wide-eyed soaring - startled, yes, yet lit with something you'd call beatific but for belonging to a man with his pants half-buckled. I had time enough to think how he must see us there: all curtailed somehow, collapsed ingloriously into our facing seatbacks, babies smothered, a shameful akimbo of limbs like sleepers' - our own truncating ideologies holding us back, he'd know. But he - Man! He was the one flying.

zodiac 16-Dec-04/5:55 AM
re: your other comments.

1) It could if time was somehow telescoped, which is what the proem proposes, anyway. No, I don't know how that would happen. Some kind of device that shoots figs at near-lightspeed in a direction roughly opposite the bus's motion, maybe. Diagrams to follow.

Also, I'll change the title, which I don't like much.

2) Sure, why not? I find there's missing punctuation all over the place.

3) I don't understand. Or at any rate, I respectfully disagree, especially about the logically sound part.

4) Not uncynically, they don't. But point taken.

5) The narrator didn't see the descent; he just guesses.

Anyway, there are many ways the impact could have been slow enough to only make a man fly while leaving everybody else unharmed. Considering that this is based on a real event (in Jordan, not the U.S., and I was the flying man), you'll just have to take my word for it.

6) The impression's not the narrator's, it's his idea of the opinion of someone who believes in that stuff (i.e., the flying man), so I don't think he (the narrator) is required much to explain.

Also - six lengths of someone's body was too long for a bus, unless the guy was, like, four feet tall or something.

This is the longest comment I've ever posted on one of my own poems. I'm mildly ashamed.




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