markb6 May 2002

This poem has promise, but needs to be tightened. You have some good images, but they don't hold the whole together.

The first and last stanzas are the strongest. "stupid-me flail" and "astro-turf nature" are excellent images.

Stanza 5 makes good use of dog image, but there was a lot of description earlier -- this suddent betrayal needs more.

stanza 4 is the weakest, really not poetic voice. 2 and 3 are mostly prose as well.