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Ending (Free verse) by Dovina

Gravel road still bends its way, old peach trees by its side, dying now, those whips I planted, for want of pruning, lack of care. Silver maples around our house still shade an overgrown yard. But square depression marks the place where basement was, burned house above, our songs, our bed, pushed over limestone ledge where once I sat and thought. An overhanging rock my roof, Flynn,s Creek my vision’s treat, now buried with all those thoughts beneath my house’s bones. It all held promise at his leaving. Always it would come again, Before I came and saw the end With peach trees along the road. I picked a wormy half-sized fruit Bit and tasted a bitter reward.

zodiac 1-Nov-04/12:21 AM
You're not answering richa's point, which is a decent one. Or your answering it in a singularly American fashion - something like the following conversation I recently heard between an American tourist and an Austrian:

AUSTRIAN: Your smell is practically unbearable.
AMERICAN: *Fart*

If you're bent on overloading your poems with unsupportable self-righteous assertions, why don't you do what any writer with sense would do and just insert a character into the poem to speak the self-righteous lines? That way your poem's not self-righteous, you're just describing some guy who might or might not be self-righteous (cf. any of the dozens of unsupportable statements in any of richa's poems.)

And while you're at it, why don't you try to not be so self-righteous? You're so proud of yourself and doubt-free in your poems it actually hurts.




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