Sasha31 Oct 2004

I like this better, a lot better if only because you've actually tried. You are still struggling with the form.

I tried shaping it up a little. It's a bit better this way I think:

This path I travel down is worn
old leaves are crunched beneath my feet
A newer me would be reborn.

My walk began. I was forlorn
In feeling I was lost and beat.
The path I traveled down was worn

In the late nights I'd look out and mourn-
Look out my window; down my street
A newer me will be reborn.

My heart gets tugged until it's torn
Whose tearing makes me incomplete
This path I travel down is worn.

The night departs, its promise sworn
And I arise for day is fleet.
A newer me will be reborn

With the new day whose newer morn
Readies me for a newer feat.
For this path I travel down is worn.
A newer me must be reborn.