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Call upon the wrath of god on ye (Other) by Imago

Call upon the wrath of god on ye who see fit to tamper with such purity of that which once lost can not be found for such diseased ticks must be picked and squashed between ones fingers lest they spread their scurge upon that fertil ground for once the soil is soured within all fruit it bare the disease lingers no blooms we see from those deflowered call upon the wrath of god for the wrath of god is truth and it maybe the only cure call upon the wrath of god and the seed you sow may grow and bloom into something that is pure

Imago 29-Oct-04/12:16 PM
Normally I don't give away the meanings but in this case I made an exception. Hoping it would make the reader re-read the poem and thus think about it more. Many poems use the first line as a title. The Use of King James English is in reflection of the biblical reference. If one of your lines is in latin does the rest of it have to be? Line 3ofS2 Give me a suggestion. Maybe to seperate May and Be? I also see how you would prefer "bares" over "bare" in line 8. I will definately consider re-writing the last stanza. I kinda see where your coming from but till the muse finds me I'll have to live with what I've got. Thank you for your insight. I hope you don't take my response as hostile.
I value your opinion and look forward to more critiques from you.




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