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To You (Free verse) by Cha no Onna
I saw you
Writing your razorblade poetry
All about angels and crosses and barbed wire
And how much you wanted to die
All fear and grief and vomit
Wrapped in words.
I saw you
Crying so the snot ran down your face
Swaddled in blankets and stuffed toys
Huddled in corners and closets
Head in lap, whimpering, trembling
Waiting for phantom blows.
I saw you
Blood running down your arms
Words and symbols carved in your legs
Marked with scars, covered with scabs
And bandages. As if by hurting yourself
You could erase your past.
Remember that.
Remember how, when you needed me
I was there for you. Remember how
Fragile you were. How I told you
The truth. How I gave you comfort
Unmarked with expectations.
I will remember you
This day you told me you had nothing
But careful words and the occasional empathy
For me. How after three years of doglike loyalty
You scooped me up in yesterday's newspaper
And dispassionately discarded me.
You are now
Another barb on my stupid-me flail
A reminder of my astro-turf nature
One of my collection of "use me" tattoos
A distant memory of the friend
I once was
To you.
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