zodiac27 Oct 2004

Yes, I think it would be a good idea for you to replace a grammatically-correct and stupid-sounding line with one that is, at least, correct. The only reasons I can think of that you wouldn't change it is that you think "discover" is an especially exciting and evocative word and you have a poet's somewhat illfounded aversion to the word "thing". As far as discover goes, it's not. You just think so because it's long and you think long words, inappropriately used, are better than short words, appropriately used. If your point is to evoke some feeling for the reader, discover does nothing. Who the fuck has ever discovered anything and then said, oh, what I'm doing now is "discovering"? Hereafter, whenever I hear the word "discover" it will recall for me that dizzying bowel-loosening feeling I have now! No one, that's who.

"Thing" is probably a poor word choice, but not nearly as bad as an ungrammatical, botched-metered line for the sake of using "discover". Why don't you use "everything" in the place of "all the things"? Or figure something out yourself. I'm not going to write your fucking poem for you, JEEZ!!!!