edpeterson26 Oct 2004

i think that the home/beauty line is the best in the poem. it makes perfect sense to me...that where beauty has made residence, it will never stay, but always move on to find new residence. Beauty does not construct, but rather make "something" her home. I think it works.

whether this is true or not, I cannot exactly say, nor do I particularly care.

I like the theme, and I think the language is well used in some parts, but, overall, I think you need to pull in the reins a little, as much of this feels over the top, but perhaps the "floweriness" of the language is apt after all. what the fuck would i know?

anyway, i think the ending is good, if a bit overplayed and somewhat cliche.