Donald Daniel Damian Drake Fell off his horse into a lake His chance at life was very slim For the horse knew more on how to swim Not all hope had yet been squandered As through the woods a hunter wandered His name was Peter, Prince of Pearls A well known love of the country girls And while he dragged his dogs along Peter paused to sing this song (Song ommited for purposes of artistic license And Peter, Prince of Pearls would like to reiterate that he is in no way responsible for the actions taken by any person(s) attempting to imitate his lifestyle) Just now the trees had reached their end The dogs grew restless near the bend And suddenly a screech arose That made the Prince leap on his toes He unholstered the mighty gun Bestowed upon his fathers son A thing of silver, gold and spirit Who beheld have learned to fear it Screams grew louder and so it seemed Pete had landed in a dream In all his years he'd never wished To come across a human fish But there before his hawk-like eyes Squirmed a boy of sure demise So the hunter threw his arm down And pulled out his bobble-head clown Oh how odd, the reader now thinks This piece was good, but that clown stinks Okay I'll change this whole charade That Prince stayed cool like lemonade He reached into his sack of things And then produced some lengthy strings As Drake went under, Pete dove in They surfaced both with frozen skin Unconsiously the latter lay Our hero took him fast away Off into the woods they raced Donald limp and blue of face At last the trees drew thin and few A house emerged of copper hue This airtight cabin showed no door But near the top the sign gave more "Welcome to the Cast Iron Coffin" "Home of lust, please visit often" Just that moment the kid awoke And Peter, Prince of Pearls now spoke Place of sin and love now hear me This is your man, produce the key As soon as said a door appeared And from inside came sounds so weird A giggle here, a giggle there Drake looked on, he could only stare Helped up by Pete, his heart unfurled Donald rose to meet the girls (The following passage has been deemed too lewd to be shown to the public, and therefore the censory board would like to ask its author to omit said passage under penalty of a $100 dollar fine or up to three weeks in company of one Roseanne Barr. The censory board would like to thank the author for his cooperation and understand that this venture was purely artistic. However, we do frown upon anything that threatens the wholesomeness or P.C reputation of this wonderful community. Thank you.) And so our story too soon ends But we will surely meet again Donald Daniel Damian Drake Now bids farewell, for Peter's sake