Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 15:48:16 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Directly in front of me the one I call husband Our eyes meet for one true and necessary instant Then turning away as a stranger does back to his lifeâs recesses Those places I have not been and will never be invited The taut lean torso a silhouette in my doorway The sure hope of his shoulders standing inert

zodiac

9-Oct-04/2:35 AM

I suppose as long as you two are achieving mutual (if not simultaneous) orgasms then I should be happy for you, as really very few people are afforded even that. But I'm not - happy, I mean. This whole conversation strikes me as rather empty and sad and kind of just endlessly repeating "hey people get different interpretations from different things! Weird, huh?" and then sighing these big undeserved postcoital sighs that everyone else in the restaurant frankly finds more than a little bit disgusting, like getting off on cutting or weird anal insertions - that is, you only can by being a little bit self-involved and susceptible to suggestion.

As far as this poem goes, why did you say the shoulders were "standing", instead of some other, better verb? And why isn't anything here punctuated?

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry

An internet tradition since June 9, 2001