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(A)Gnostic (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones

Failing eyes, and more senses become lost Lines into whiteness of a person cut off. Leaving behind my intent to deceive, Time to restate some things I believe: Myopic eyes Transmit only blurs Without aid. I cannot tell if they have intent to deceive, But I’m already bored of stating things I believe. Because they Lead you nowhere Nothing here but Lines through whiteness. That lead nowhere, Only here where I cannot stay: Burning eyes, my life has become lost Forced into firelight through theories of cost. We all reserve the right to deceive, I wish I could know that I do not believe. More sense Of being lost, I used believe in nothing And then construct things To believe. But then mistrust them Because they are constructs. But everything is a construct I know this because I have read it In books by people cleverer than me. Who spend their days in scholarship and never watch bullshit on TV We laughed but didn’t understand. We read until our eyes stopped. Cut off. Only white lines now: Failed eyes, all senses now are lost. Lines into whiteness from you are cut off. I confess I had only intent to deceive. Trying to remember if I ever believed.

eliastemplar 6-Oct-04/9:28 AM
I enjoyed this. We all struggle with faith. Faith is a self imposed struggle by design. Often our final refuge is faith in ourselves, creating a conscience to trust. Sometimes we are teased by spots and smears that appear on the blank page. Spots that our minds create from staring too hard. Faith comes at discount prices in a combat zone. You strain harder for answers when you realize your life could easily be cut short. Somehow it cheapens the discoveries you make, but you can ill afford to ignore them here. As though I were treating an ill patient I do whatever is necessary to comfort myself. In the end I find myself retaining more and more objects of faith close to my heart. Your poem reminds me of the fear and the struggle that always remain no matter how much faith you retain. Thanks.




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