god'swife25 Aug 2002

Wow, this is a very mature piece of writing. It's almost perfect. There's just a couple of small tweaks that will make this a thing of beauty forever. 3rd stanza/line 3: darking it's reach should br changed to darkening the seas reach, or some other synonym for sea. the way the sentence is structure now, it is the Cool quiet night's reach darkening. Line 5 shush has got a great sound so I want you to keep it, but how does cold get shushed in and evening get swept out by the same agent? Last stanza 1st line: With irrational intent all conspire or Irrational intentions conspire or without rational intent (skip to next line) All conspire to soothe...