True story- She asked for reassurance, "Are you sure you want to do this?" "what? Get married?" "yeah" and I answered, "Sure I'm sure. At least as much as I'll ever be. You'll make me blissfully happy, we'll have kids and get all grey and decrepit together or you'll break my heart and I'll become a great writer. Either way I win." But then she asked, "why me?" and the weight of my silence feels damning even now Another true story- I was nine or ten he was early twenties maybe? and a cop, and blonde, and dating my mother and he liked to read comics little piles, like ant hills, littered the floor we'd stay holed up like gangsters until the sun hurt our eyes those were the days I learned to waste time when the number of possibilities seemed impossible but that day we were off to the arcade, a new kind of cave-living subsistence I reached up to take his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world and for a moment it was but the space between our hands when I pulled away feels distant even now Last one, I promise- A few years ago I got this call I sorta knew it was coming the way you know a bill is due in the mail any day now Seems my buddy, the one who forgot about me after I left wanted to move in with my ex, the one raising my boy I thought it would feel more like a sucker punch Seems I gave a blessing that no one wanted or asked for and for a while, felt altruistic but that was before he left too before yesterday when he asked about my boy how was he doing? could I pass along his number? could he move back into our lives? like it was the most natural thing in the world and I remembered all the times I've pulled away and the strength of desperation to save my boy from such moments, even when I know I'm being foolish, wears me down even now