poetandknowit23 Aug 2002

"I don't expect you people to like this,because infact you all are mean!" This is the best line in the poem (minus the typos). Nevertheless, I am going to try to give a "constructive assessment." 1) Creeping silence sounds like something off one of those crazy bands those kids listen today. Plus, silence speaks for itself; it doesn't need to have an adjective necessarily. 2) Do you really understand what the depths of "madness" are? You sound rather young; are you sure it is just not a long bout of teen angst. You know that is what the world needs now. Madness (i.e. depression, bi-polar and the like) is an extremely complex condition both biologically and psychologically and requires much more imagery than throwing a glass to the floor in some sort of angry fit. 3) The choking imagery doesn't seem to have much weight. Can you really choke on life or a pathetic defense and what is the pathetic defense in the poem. Okay, I cannot go on anymore. I tried and you can take this advice if you what to. Or you can just delete the fucking poem.