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A Rally (Free verse) by hobojo

I sat in a crowd, all alone I sat in a cloud and looked down on his throne The people, they roared applause all around I made the motions empty hearted no doubt Why must I continue to believe I'm alone lacking the courage to seek others out Surely they're shared the beliefs which I hold I can't be the only bulging out of this mold

unknown^user 10-Aug-04/12:04 PM
Aye, good cleaning up.
Also, I have a problem with "I sat in a cloud." With all of the Western imagery associated with clouds, it's difficult to put yourself in (or on) one and still have the reader believe that you are lonesome and/or depressed. Think of Zeuss, angels, and of course, Mick Jagger!




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